Long Lost Friend

I've never been the best at keeping in touch with people, especially long distance friends. I'm not much of a phone person, though a few people can make me give AT&T's lines a good workout from time to time. Most of those folks are in my family or among my closest of friends.

The art of writing personal letters is not something I ever seriously pursued. The art of writing an email, not that's me! I acknowledge that it's not always the best way to express things, but it sure is convenient! Just sit down, type your thoughts and hit "send." Gotta love it. Regardless the mode, you must have either a phone number, address, or email address for the person with whom you wish to communicate.

Early this week, I received a text message on my cell phone from a friend I hadn't seen or talked to in probably 10 years. All I could say is, "WOW!" because I was so shocked. Then, I picked up the cell and called him.

Marcus and I met when I lived in Jackson, Mississippi. I won't go into to all the details, but suffice it to say we became close friends and stayed such until I moved to Columbia. He's a great guy with a super smile, wonderful sense of humor, and a personality that exudes unadulterated fun and super sensitivity all at the same time.

When I moved to Columbia in 1996, Marcus and I lost touch. We were reunited in 1997 when I returned to Jackson one weekend for a party my friend Karl was hosting. Marcus was there and we enjoyed reconnecting. Then, once again, we lost touch. I don't know what happened. For the next 10 years, I would periodically think about him and wonder if he was still in Jackson or living someplace else. I'd wonder if he had found romance and settled down with someone, if he'd found his dream job, I just wondered if he was doing well. I now have the answers to all of those questions.

Marcus ran into Karl last weekend in Atlanta. Karl, knowing how much I've always wondered how Marcus was doing, passed along my number. Isn't Karl just the best? Marcus is doing quite well, living in suburban Atlanta, holding down a nice job which has him traveling the country training employees for a children's dental office chain. We've spoken to or text messaged each other everyday this week, trying to catch up on the 10 years lost.

Sometimes, you just don't truly appreciate a person until they disappear from your life. I certainly learned that a year ago when Bruce departed this earth. I learned it earlier when Rudy and I stopped talking for several years. And, I've learned it with Marcus. Some friends come and go in your life and it's no great loss. Others come and go and leave a tremendous void. If you can find them again and you learn they also had a void, you've got a truly lasting friendship that you should value like family.

Marcus, it's great to have you back in my life. Your return has put smiles on my face at a time when it's been difficult to muster them. THANKS! Now, don't even think about disappearing again!

Oh, Good Evening!

A Lengthy Hiatus

It's been a couple of months since my last posting. For those of you who have been checking back frequently hoping to find my latest musings, thanks for your patience. You probably noticed that I haven't written as regularly lately. It's been a difficult year for me emotionally. I haven't really been the same since the death of my best friend, Bruce Weathersby, last November.

The first anniversary of his passing is this Saturday. Bruce departed his earthly life on November 3, 2006. As the date has approached, I've found myself slipping in and out of the doldrums. The most difficult moment, so far, coming as I walked through the Atlanta airport between flights a couple of weeks ago when it hit me that I had travelled to see Bruce-- for what would be the last time-- a year earlier that weekend. A wave of emotion came over me and I nearly collapsed in tears right in the middle of Concourse C.

Now, I must face this coming weekend and the painful memory of receiving a phone call from another of my brothers, Rudy Williams, to inform me that Bruce was gone. I have talked with Rudy on a regular basis over the last year, mostly because he's such a good friend that he calls to check on me periodically. That's not to say that other friends haven't done the same. Karl, Gilbert, Kerry, Vanessa, Tre', Kat, Debora, Karen, Pam, Angee, Condace, Meta and others have all been WONDERFUL with their friendship, love, and support. But Rudy took on the burden of making that phone call last November 3 knowing that he was about to break my heart as his had been broken a few minutes earlier.

There are those who will read this and wonder why I haven't reached out to them more-- for support or to give it. I hope they understand that this grieving process has been one of the most difficult ever for me. You're never ready to accept a loved one's death. I've lost three grandparents, an aunt, a great-grandparent, and a great-aunt in my lifetime. I was close with each of them. When God called them home, it was hard to accept, but I knew they had each lived long, productive lives-- some, 80-90 years-- and it was their time. Bruce was barely six months past his 40th birthday. I just couldn't understand why he had to leave so soon. I know much more today than I did 12-months ago but dealing with the new knowledge hasn't made accepting and coping any easier.

Anyway, let me end this by saying that I'm back and plan to post much more regularly again. After all, this blog-- while not originally created as such-- is a tribute to my dear friend and brother, Bruce. For, as I wrote in the very first posting, I stole the catchy phrase that is this blog's title from him.

Oh, Good Evening!

Public Dancer

I encountered a most interesting person on the Las Vegas Monorail early this morning. A young woman gets on the train at the Flamingo/Caesars Palace stop and immediately grabs the center pole, swings herself around and says, "hey, pole dancing!" I looked at the young woman and smiled while every muscle in my body resisted the nearly overwhelming urge to burst out in laughter. I discreetly looked at my dear friend and sister Angela, who returned a polite smile.

As the train started moving again, the young woman proceeds to apologize for her actions and I say, "no need to apologize, this is Vegas!" We all laugh and the woman tells us she wouldn't be doing this if her son was with her. She says she has a four year old boy and that before he was born, she would visit Las Vegas two or three times a year. But, this was only her second visit since the boy's birth. I resisted the urge to say, "so, you're making up for lost time," because the young man she was with was trying to get her to sit down. I don't think she even heard him because she started pole dancing again.

After a few more spins, she tells us that before her son's arrival, this-- pole dancing at a strip club-- was her life. To which Angela says, "yes, you appear more than a bit familiar with it."

Once again, my muscles got a workout as I struggled not to laugh. Luckily, our stop came up moments later. As we exited the train and stepped onto the escalator going down, I nearly collapsed from laughter as the train pulled off. The woman, once again shaking her tail feather around that pole.

Through my hysterical, stomach tightening laughter, I thought about Chris Rock's HBO comedy special remarks on the subject of women, dancing, and poles and said to myself, "clearly this woman's father failed."

Oh, Good Evening!

When Love Is Calling Your Name

Fellow Detroit native Kem Owens headlined a reception opening the 32nd Annual National Association of Black Journalists Convention and Career Fair at Bally's Resort and Casino on the Las Vegas Strip Wednesday evening. Kem has released two CD's on the Motown label, both of which I own and enjoy listening to periodically. When his first CD, entitled "Kemistry," was released, my sister, Kathy, told me she knew Kem. I really didn't know whether to believe her. Granted, she had no reason to lie about that, but for some reason, I just didn't fully believe her.

Following Wednesday's performance, which was very good, I attended a reception in the President's Suite in honor of Kem and Ledisi, a terrific young female singer who opened the convention event. When the opportunity came for me to introduce myself to Kem, I told him who I was followed by a quick mention that my sister always said she knew him. He asked my sister's name and before I could tell him, he told me. So much for not fully believing Kathy.

"Man, I didn't just know your sister, I was in love with your sister. But, she wouldn't give me the time of day." Then, Kem looked at me and said, "I'll bet I could call her now."

Oh, Good Evening!

Gone Fishin'

Once again, the Detroit Pistons are starting their off-season sooner than preferred. For the second straight year, the team that spent the regular season building the best record in the National Basketball Association's Eastern Conference has been bounced from the conference finals by the #2 seed. Last year it was Miami. This year it's Cleveland. In both years, the ouster comes in Game 6 after Detroit gave up home court advantage in Game 5.

First, let me say congratulations to the Cavaliers and their fans. LeBron James and crew are young, energetic, scrappy, and smart. They outplayed Detroit in all six games and effectively should have ended it in four games. While they missed out on the front-end sweep, they did get the back-end sweep by winning four straight games after dropping the first two. And, that Game 5 performance from James was nothing short of phenomenal. Very Jordanesque.

Now, back to the Pistons, who looked old, lethargic, panicky, and mentally drained throughout the series. At times, I would describe their play as just plain dumb. I'm not going to break down the entire series, game-by-game. Too depressing. But, I will breakdown what I think needs to change as Joe Dumars and his management team work to keep Detroit as a contender next year.

1. Chauncey Billups: He's a free agent. Do we re-sign him or move in a different direction? This is tough because we don't have another point-guard who can take on the starter role and truly shine. Flip Murray has proven to be good off the bench and did a good job of filling in for Billups through an injury spell. But I'm not sure he's a starter. Billups was disappointing in the Cleveland series. He hit a nasty scoring slump, started missing more free throws than usual, and committed uncharacteristic turnovers at very inopportune times. Which, during the nip and tuck series, was whenever the turnover occurred. Billups also didn't seem to be too phased by his poor play or that of his teammates, which troubles me. All that said, I think Detroit should sign him and keep the Billups-Hamilton back court tandem in tact. It's still among the best in the league.

2. Rasheed Wallace: He really needs to get his emotions in check on the court. I appreciate his intensity, but I don't appreciate the way he's always losing control to the point of picking up technical fouls in numbers that get him ejected from games or eventually suspended from games. Grow up, Rasheed. Word is Wallace doesn't respect head coach Flip Saunders and the two really don't coexist very well. That could spell curtains for Flip. (More on him later.)

3. Chris Webber: He joined his hometown team mid-season in hopes of winning a ring. It didn't happen. Webber proved to be a good addition to the team, but his age is a big factor in his long-term effectiveness. I don't think he returns. If he does, it will not be as a starter.

4. Man In The Middle: Detroit MUST find an imposing big man who can defend like Ben Wallace and score like Tim Duncan or Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Whether through the draft or free agency, this is an absolute need.

5. Head Coach: Detroit has had three coaches in six years, changing every other season. If the trend continues, Flip Saunders coached his final Pistons game last night and if that is the case, it won't phase me. Saunders was brought in because the players felt offensively stifled by the defensively focused Larry Brown. The Pistons may need to find a fresh face to place at the head of the bench. Someone similar to Cleveland's Mike Brown or Toronto's Sam Mitchell. We'll see what happens. I do hope Joe Dumars doesn't make another coaching change based on what the players want. Though, I do think Rasheed is more valuable to the team than Flip, so if one has to go, I say start searching for a new coach.

6. Joe Dumars: I love Joe D. He has been the true heart and soul of the Detroit Pistons since Isiah Thomas left. But I hope he's kicking himself in the butt over his draft choice in 2003. We passed on the likes of Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade-- all superstars-- for Darko Milicic, who rode the bench his entire stay in Detroit and was traded away for next to nothing after last season.

I'm done with basketball until next season. I wish Cleveland well in The Finals but I'll be pulling for San Antonio. I've always had a problem cheering for the team that puts mine out.

Oh, Good Evening!